My Last Ramadan

Abu Huraira narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said “Those who fast during the month of Ramadan with sincere faith and the will to gain God’s forgiveness, then all his previous sins will be forgiven.”

I shall begin this piece with a question – what if it is my last Ramadan in my life?

How many friends and acquaintances were with us last Ramadan, who today are among the deceased. There were friends who were with us just two months ago, who were expecting Ramadan with us, who unfortunately are no longer alive today. Death is a fact of life – it comes for different reasons and different time. Allah (SWT) tells us “And every nation has its appointed term; when their term is reached, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it an hour” (7:34) However, Allah (SWT) also told us that the reaction of some people will be to say, “My Lord! Send me back, so that I may do good in that which I have left behind! That I might do righteousness in that which I left behind.” No! It is only a word he is saying, and behind them is a barrier until the Day they are resurrected.” (23:99-100)

These verses beg the question – what would I do if this is my last Ramadan? 

If we knew when our time was – we would never miss any mandatory worship that Allah imposed on us. We would do all our prayers in the mosque, we would try to safeguard my fast and ensure that nothing is lacking.

If I knew that this is my last Ramadan, I would keep my qiyam prayer, tarawih prayer, I would give more attention to almsgiving, donations, and to compete in good deeds. 

Time passes, and we allow Ramadan to pass by. We fall into the trap of thinking, oh well there’s always next year. The reality is, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Some may ask, why all this pessimism? This is not pessimism, but a reminder for one’s self, for one’s soul. We always keep this at the forefront of our minds allow it to drive us to work and to give the best of ourselves. As the Prophet (PBUH) said “Be in earthly life as if you were a foreigner, or someone passing through. This is the state of a believer.” 

So, we must ask ourselves, is my prayer in that state in which I would like to meet my lord with? A prayer in which I am immersed to the point that I am happy to meet him? Is my fasting up with the required standard? The fast of the believer who observes his lord, and not a fast in which there is only abstinence from drinking and eating, but the fasting that prevents me from hurting people, the same fasting that prevents me from backbiting about people. 

Even my way of giving, if I knew this is my last Ramadan, I would not be stingy with any poor or needy person, but instead, I would go looking for them and be a reason to help them. As the Prophet  (PBUH) said: ” If someone satisfies the needs of his brother, Allah will satisfy his needs; if one relieves a Muslim from his Afflictions, Allah relieves his Afflictions on the Day of Resurrection; and if someone covers a Muslim, Allah will cover him on the Day of Resurrection.” 

If I was aware that death is near, and that the days to my last are numbered, my worship will become the greatest, my behaviour will improve, and what remains of Ramadan will be some of the most beautiful days of my life. 

It is never late, in this last 10 days of Ramadan – act as though this may be your last Ramadan. Improve yourself, your belief, your behaviour, seek forgiveness, act as your Lord is watching you and you will be rewarded, insha’Allah. 

 

Ubada El Joulani, part of MABY North London team, head of BADG 2020 North London activities, studying Electrical and Computer Engineering at Brunel University London.